Monday, July 29, 2013

Prayers needed

It's hard to describe how I've felt this past week but this pretty much sums it up. Devastated.  Last week we found out that our beloved cat Bailey has cancer.  We are still trying to figure out exactly what type of tumor this is.  After two trips to NC State's renowned vet school and oncology department we are waiting on pathology reports.  We are hoping to try radiation treatment to extend and improve his quality of life but we have no idea how much longer he will be with this.

Every time I think about that it's like I've been punched in the stomach.  Bailey has been my "fur baby" for 12 years.  I adopted him as a kitten when I was going through one of the hardest points of my life.  For years I struggled with an eating disorder.  Officially I was anorexic with bulimic tendencies.  My world revolved around what I was "allowed" to eat and punishing myself for eating with purging and laxatives.   It was a vicious cycle of starving myself until I couldn't take it anymore, binge eating, purging and returning to severely restricting food. 

I eventually admitted that I needed help but I couldn't do it in addition to a good therapist, I found Bailey. I needed something in my life that wasn't about my ED.  I saw that a rescue organization was going to be set up at a local hardware store and I when I got there it was love at first sight.  Bailey curled up in my lap and went right to sleep in the middle of the busy store.  His calm demeanor was just what I needed.

I brought him home and continued on my way to recovery.

Bailey wasn't a cure for the eating disorder...he was a comfort in my time of need. 

Always ready to curl up in my lap...especially when there was a warm blanket involved! He has been with me ever since through bad apartments, job changes and big moves. He was there in the good times too like meeting my husband, getting married and buying our home.  He calmly adjusted to all of the changes throughout the years.  (in fact he fell in love with my husband just as much as I did)  

Most of all he gave me that unconditional love that our pets give to us.


Now it's my turn to give him comfort.  At our first trip to the oncologist he did what he did so many years ago...ignored everything going on around us and just sat in my lap.

Our pets give us so much and ask for so little in return.  A scratch...a lap to lay in...a yummy treat.   Every night when I get home from work he hops up on the couch and gives me a hug.

I don't know what we're going to find out in the next week or what lies ahead the next few months...but I do know that we will do everything we can to give back the love he has given us.   

Please keep my husband, myself and our sweet Bailey in your thoughts and prayers.  


Patricia Sheene said...

Sitting here in tears reading your blog....I am praying for all three of you....a pet is family and just like a child to many......sometimes a pet is all some people have....I understand how you are feeling and even the fear of what you might find out....I am thankful your Bailey was there through your ups and downs and that sweet kitty feels your love....some of the greatest gifts are only lent to us for a time then we have to give them back...maybe not now I pray.....but which ever way it goes...cherish the memories that you had ......Much love many prayers and blessings...... Tricia

Susan Rylander said...

So sorry Stephanie that Bailey is not well and that you have this waiting period. I know the unknown is the worst. I pray God's hand is on Bailey and relieves his pain and discomfort and that His hand is on the doctors as they do their testing and treatment and that it is the right treatment and is a success. {{{ HUGS }}} to you, your husband and Bailey.

Nicole Anderson said...

I am in tears right now, my mom had to put my fur baby that I grew up with to sleep 2 years ago because she couldn't afford the treatments needed, I pray you can give Bailey all the love and help that he has given you. You will all be in my prayers every day and night.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for making tears run down my face on what is supposed to be the best day of my vacation, not to mention, you made me miss my "Kid" more than I already did. I agree that they are our kids, noone ever said all kids had to have 2 legs, mine clearly have 4. I have an Aunt & Uncle in Texas, have always only wanted Kids of the 4-legged variety. The best advise I can give you Stephanie from one cat lover to another, cherish every moment you have, cuddle, kiss, & snuggle. Before I left for vacation, Kix got sick throwing up & wanted nothing but me. The night before & the morning I left, he laid on my chest & we had a chat about him behaving & how he was feeling. I am sure you have had many of those with Bailey over the years. Prayers clearly sent up for you & your best friend, Bailey, they sure do know when to show up when we trully need them most! Take care, Stephanie!!

Stephanie Taylor said...

Thank you all for your thoughts and support!

Margaret Overby said...

I'm crying as I reflect on what a good Cat Mommy you are!!! How lucky Bailey is to have you in his life . . . and vice versa, of course. Just wanted to let you know that my sister is going through the same thing with her cat of about the same age. CiCi has cancer, but rest assured no stone is being left unturned to seek treatment and to keep her comfortable. All this while she is treating another kitty for diabetes (insulin shots twice a day and constant monitoring). And while her other 3 cats have their own issues. (There are 2 cats in the house, 2 in the air conditioned garage, and another in the shed in the back yard. Fear not, her house is immaculate.) God bless you and comfort you as you attempt to comfort your little blessing. Your heart is in the right place, and I pray that Bailey can be successfully treated for his cancer and continue to keep you smiling for a long time to come.

Stephanie Taylor said...

Hi Margaret-I'm so sorry to hear about CiCi and understand what your sister is going through. It's devastating getting a cancer diagnosis and then trying to determine what treatment is in their best interest. Thank you for your kind words and support!